How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last? (and What Comes After)

Short answer: for most couples the honeymoon phase lasts somewhere between six months and two years. Some researchers put the outer limit nearer two and a half years. It ends for almost everyone, and its ending is not a sign that anything is wrong.

What the honeymoon phase is

It is the stretch at the start of a relationship when everything is easy. You cannot get enough of each other, their habits are adorable, and you rarely argue. The psychologist Dorothy Tennov gave the most intense version a name in 1979: limerence.

Underneath, it is chemistry. Early romantic love lights up the brain's reward system, with dopamine driving the craving and focus. Studies of people newly in love have also found changes linked to the obsessive, can't-think-about-anything-else quality, which tend to return to normal after roughly a year to eighteen months.

Signs you are in it

• You think about them most of the day.
• Time apart feels long, and time together disappears.
• You agree about almost everything, or think you do.
• You are on your best behaviour, and so are they.
• Their flaws seem small or sweet.

Signs it is ending

• You notice things that annoy you.
• You have your first real argument.
• You are happy to spend an evening apart.
• You stop dressing up for them, and they for you.
• The urgency fades and something steadier is left.

Many people panic at this point and wonder whether they have fallen out of love. Usually they have not. They have fallen out of a chemical state that was never designed to last.

Why it has to end

Nobody could live permanently the way they feel in month two. You would never get any work done. The intensity does a job, which is to bring two people close enough, for long enough, to form a real attachment. Once that bond is there, the body eases off.

What comes after

Researchers often describe the next stage as companionate love: less fireworks, more trust. It is where you find out who the other person is when they are tired, stressed or wrong.

The last row matters most. Couples do not stay happy by avoiding arguments. They stay happy by being good at making up. See how to stop having the same argument.

Seven ways to keep the good parts

1. Keep doing new things together. Novelty is one of the few reliable ways to bring back some of that early buzz.
2. Stay curious. You do not know everything about them. Ask.
3. Keep touching. The hand on the back, the proper hug at the door.
4. Say the nice thing out loud. You still think it. They can no longer assume it.
5. Protect time for just the two of you. Early on it happened by itself. Now it needs a slot.
6. Have separate lives. Missing each other a little is useful.
7. Build small rituals. Morning coffee, a walk after dinner, one question before bed. More in daily rituals for couples.

When to worry

Less excitement is normal. Contempt, constant criticism, or feeling relieved when they are away are not the honeymoon phase ending. They are separate problems and worth talking about, with a counsellor if needed.

One small habit

In the beginning you asked each other questions for hours. That is most of what the honeymoon phase was. You can keep doing it for two minutes a day: BloomingPairs, free on iPhone and Android →

Frequently asked questions

How long does the honeymoon phase last?

Usually between six months and two years, with some couples reporting up to about two and a half years.

Does the end of the honeymoon phase mean we are falling out of love?

No. It means the early chemical intensity is settling. What follows is usually a calmer, deeper attachment.

Can you get the honeymoon phase back?

Not permanently, but new shared experiences, curiosity and regular time alone together bring back a good deal of the feeling.